I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
