She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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