you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i now understand why vodka
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
