CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
