Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
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She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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