I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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