My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
