I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
