Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
