I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
