You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
