Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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