My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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