I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
this will be a night to untag.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
