90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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