no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
