it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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