it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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