Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
