hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
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I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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