Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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