i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
