Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
