I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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