She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
