In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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