I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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