She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize