My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
