I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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