There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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