We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
