P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
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Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
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I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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