She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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