mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
