the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
