So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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