dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
