Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
