girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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