I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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