You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
