Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
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I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
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The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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