I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
