He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
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When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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