You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
