I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
