I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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