Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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