Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
