the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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