Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
