i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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