70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
