can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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