...so i touched it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
