I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
