Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
