the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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