allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The uberlube is also flammable
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
