I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize