No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
